You probably know the endless cycle of old habits, too. At the start of every year comes the same old thought, “New year, new start – time for new habits!” And after a few weeks, we realize nothing has changed, our old habits still have us in their grip.
I admit that I, too, am guilty of this nearly traditional pattern: “This time I’ll do it…” and then with a sigh “…guess not”. Again and again in coaching sessions, my clients say, “I’d like to do more… but I just can’t seem to do it!” or “I really need to do less… but my hectic schedule won’t let me!”
The roundabout works well as a metaphor for this dilemma. Driving the car, I enter the roundabout, living my habit. I can see the exits, but I can’t decide which one to take, so I stay in the familiar world of my traffic circle. Only when I turn on the blinker and exit will the situation change. Of course, this also means that I have to leave my comfort zone and head into unknown and perhaps unsafe territory.
How can I break out of my cycle of habits? I’ve seen countless books and guides on the topic of changing habits. As luck would have it, I discovered “Atomic Habits: Tiny changes, Remarkable Results” by James Clear (Avery, New York 2018). Having read the book, I can actually see an opportunity to change some of my habits. What convinced me most is the authenticity of the author. As a teenager he suffered severe head injuries due to a sports accident. A promising young star, his dream of a career as a professional baseball player seemed to be shattered forever. Dark thoughts were accompanied by the grim feeling of no longer having his life in control and being enveloped by insecurity. But he succeeded, and the book describes his way out of the roundabout.
There are numerous clues for changing old habits, presented in a logical and structured way. For me, it really “clicked” when change is described as a change in the route of an airplane.
If I transfer this insight into the reality of my habits, it means that I keep the goal in mind, but get there in small steps, consistently and consciously. The focus is no longer on running a marathon, but rather on walking around the block for 2 minutes every day, even if it’s raining, even if you’re tired. And when the 2-minute walk has become so ingrained that you do it almost automatically, it’s time to move to next small step: 5 minutes walking every day. At some point, the next step will be the marathon. Of course this takes time, but as time goes on, this approach leads to a new identity. The mindset changes from “I run for 5 minutes” to “I am a runner”.
The author describes 4 success factors
- The 2-minute rule – When you start a new habit, it shouldn’t take more than two minutes. Almost every habit can be reduced to a two-minute version. The lower the hurdle, the greater the chance that you will put on the blinker and step on the gas. The feeling of having pushed yourself and completed the 2 minutes also means celebrating a first small success, which is like a power surge flowing through your body, mind, and soul. This boost leads to the next run. And the success story continues.
- Concentrating on the process – The action and execution is more important than constantly focusing on the goal. Practice makes perfect, not planning.
- The frequency of execution – It is the frequency of a habit that is decisive, not its duration.
- Revitalize the process with new impulses – Boredom is often a greater threat to success than failure. When habits become routine, they become boring. We need to infuse something new into the process to get us excited again and to feel the “magic of new beginnings” (from the poem “Steps” by Hermann Hesse). This could be the next step in the process, new equipment (a cool bobble hat is great for running in snow flurries), a new playlist to inspire you. You get the idea.
So, it’s nothing huge or earth-shattering, but it helped me get out of my “I don’t want to run” rut and decide to change something. I’m currently walking 5 minutes every day, after starting with 2 minutes at the end of January. I don’t know if I’ll ever run a marathon, but I’m very happy that I put on the blinker and took that exit.
Image: iStock licence